it's called puppy love <3

Saturday, September 01, 1990

Part 1 : The beginning

"Qwark , qwark " chirped the crows . It was yet another day in school . The place where kids learn their ABCs and 123s . Such a bore . but the harshness of reality made sure we attended at least 10 years of it . Hi i am Samuel , an average boy from Spirit High Secondary . The story you are about to read is based on true events , true emotions and real drama .

It all goes back when i was secondary 1 in Spirit high . I was a freshy , had a few friends from my primary school . I was once again , a JUNIOR . just when i had the taste if seniority at the back of my mouth , i am a 'kid' again . haiz . As usual , lessons began , and soon enough i was drifting of into lala land thanks to the " hyped up" and " cheerful " lesson my geoglogy teacher , Miss Ann was giving . It was one of those lessons where you had to fight to stay awake , or face the wrath of ANN . Anyway the guy sitted behind me , Jordan , a real pain-in-the-ass (literally) was kicking my chair again . Somehow the younng perv was able to attain undescribable jubilation from kicking the back of my chair , i just thought he was plainly deprived of life , but anyway , enough of him , he plays a short but significant role in my story .

"Miss Ann , Jordan's kicking my chair again . Can i change his place ?" In her usual cool appearance " Jordan what's your bloody problem , if your legs are itchy , just scratch them , what's the kicking for . " said Miss Ann . " from tommorro onwards , Samuel , u sit beside Torrence . This way its your turn to kick Jordan ." roared Ann . Was she drunk ? she sounded so . Talk about educating the young , if i had Ann as my role model through life , man that would suck . Anyway , who was Torrence , sorry was acting spastic but its only the 3rd month of school . Names aren't registered in my head yet . However the name " Torrence " would not only be etched my my memory , but deep in my heart , in the years to come .

End of part 1

x penned @ 12:00 PM

Part 2 : The first meeting

I stood up wondering , who was Torrence . I scanned the classroom , looking out for a gal i had never met , seen or spoken to in my life . My only clue was that she sat , or rather used to sit next to the irritant Jordon . Cold droplets of prespiration started trickling down my back . I was nervous , how would Torrence react , would she start a large tumult , or give the cold shoulder to the alien who had just parked beside her . The best part was , she was seated just 3 places behind me . Now you would probably start wondering , if my new place was so near , bearly 3 steps away from my previous place , how could all of the thoughts and reaction written above occur . To the naked eye it seemed like 3 steps, but those 3 steps marked the beginning of a journey , my journey .

" Hi ," i remarked as i sat down beside my new sitting partner .
" I ' m Samuel , nice to meet you ."
" Er hi ? " replied Torrence feeblely .
Some how the introduction i expected would be worst then this . But getting her name was a start . So i settled down into my sit . By now Torrence was sitting at the edge of chair , trying to create as much space between her chair and mine . She had the look of awkwardness written all over her face . Clearly she was not used me to . Haha , could't blame her thou .

As the days passed , Torrence started to warm up to me . The only short conversasions we had were when i asked her questions about the things on the board . Thou she seemed quiet , she really could talk . Just when i thought i had diffused through her personal space , she did something that shocked me . While doing some work , my elbow crossed the line which divided my table from hers . Out of the blue , "whack" . And before i knew it , there was a scorching sensation running along the skin of my forearm . It felt like the spanking that my Dad used to give me when i younger . i looked up , my face breaming with astonishment .
" Never cross the ' table line ' okay ? I find it unnerving and annoying when people cross that line . " snapped Torrence .

What could cause such a trememdous responses from a quite girl like Torrence --> crossing the " table line " . Is there even such a word ? I was taken aback by her lightning quick reflex , but on the other hand , i had found the one thing that would prick her , make her angry . I found the one thing that would piss her off . Soon the devil in me started floating " fun " thoughts into my mind .

End of Part 2

x penned @ 11:59 AM

Part 3 : The catalyst

2 weeks had passed since the "table line " incident . These 14 days passed by without much interuptions . Torrence and I were conversing at every possible moment . With each sentenced said , i began to know more about her . When we chatted , the words in my mind just strung together into sentences , and out of me for her to embrace . A hot topic was her hair . How I loved her hair . How intrigued i was by those long streaks of blond silk , clasped tightly into a pony tail at the back of her head . The rubber band she used was black , perhaps hinting her stringent nature to follow the school rules with absolute obedience . Or maybe she was just too timid to choose a more prominent rubberband that would compliment her blond features :D
Her long and wavy pony tail reached back to her lower back . Just looking at it , would naturally cause you to think , what a uncanny resemblence to a stallion's tail .

I remembered the long metal bracelet that i had "borrowed" from my elder brother . It was made up of numerous minute pieces of metal strunged together to form a chain . It was really a beautiful piece of key chain . ( haha i used it as a key chain as an attempt to beautify my dull looking keys ) . Everyday , the moment i reached my desk , my routine would be , put my bag down and take my house keys out of my pocket , placing them on my desk . Reason being , the chain was quite heavy , and due to some childish paranoia , I was afraid I would lose my keys if I could not see them .

On one particular day , during maths lesson , my right elbow accidentally slipped past the "table line" . And before i knew it , Torrence was ready to strike . I could see the suttleness dissolve from her charcoal eyes . As if by instinct , she grabbed my keys and swung it by the chain , resembling Xena the warrior princess swinging her mace , she struck me with the keys . I could hear the faint sound of my bones being chipped by coldblooded metal .

"sdvkjbsdivscnskjdnvjksndvkjbskdvnakcjnakjsncj !!!!! " ran through my mind . I felt the pain of metal against my shoulder bones throughout my body . My right arm went limp and tears of immense suffering swelled in my eyes . I dug my face in my arms to hide the droplets of tears cascading down my cheeks . I thought to my self , where did the demure torrence i know go , was she consumed by the devil the moment i crossed that "table line " , lavishing in the knowledge that i was hurting real bad !

I lost all composure , and as I lifted my head out to shout " what's your problem " , i saw those charcoal eyes . Next a soothing sound reached my ear , temporary reliefing me of my pain ,
" Are u alright ? I am really really very very sorry " said Torrence . At that moment , Torrence looked so innocent , her words of comfort brought a surging and warm sensation to my chest . The throbbing pain from my shoulders had somehow sudsided . How i hoped that this moment would last . . . . .

End of part 3

x penned @ 11:58 AM

Part 4 : The revealation

That night , i lay down to sleep , amidst the clusters of stars , shimmering jewels in the cold dry summer's night . How restless I was , tossing and turning endlessly on my bed . Images of today's events were flashing across my mind . Her eyes , those charcoal orbs spilling out mystery and enchantment , left a mark deep in my whirlpool of thoughts . Her face , overflowing with compassion and undeceived concern . Those magical words " Are u alright " simple yet comforting . I could not forget that moment . It was like that chinese saying , sunlight after the rain . Why did her face keep popping into my mind , I couldn't stop it , i didn't want to stop it . By the end of that night , Torrence was indelible in my conscience , i had fallen for her . I didn't sleep much that night . The excitement of seeing torrence in school tml did not subside till the early hours of the morning .

I reached school a zombie , effects of insufficient slumber the night before . Man i had eye bags !
But i was determined not to succumb to exhaustion . As i stepped into the class late , there she was , all quaint and tidy sitting at her desk . I hurried to my desk . Before i could sit down , " is your arm still hurting ? " enquired Torrence . Today could only get better :D

End of part 4

x penned @ 11:57 AM

Part 5 : The confession ( Part 1 )

As the days went by , my attraction for Torrence did not waver . Like a seed planted by cupid in my heart , day by day the attraction grew stronger . I enjoyed the time i spent with her in school . I dreaded the mother tongue lessons where she was not around , the mother tongue lessons I spent thinking of her smittenly . And speaking of which , my monther tongue teacher was ancient looking . he looked as if he came from the era of the 3 kingdomes . maybe he was the last surviver . And all that he taught was alien to me . However he taught very little and spent most of his time scolding the class .

Soon i started to think of her all the time . at home , in school , during cca trainings . And eversince i had gotten her number , I spent all my time at home smsing her . My "love device " never left my side .

It then dawned to me , since I liked her so much , why not make her my girl friend . The only problem was , how ? The trend nowadays was to ask for stead first , and go out later . I hated the word "stead" it was so crude , it lacked sincerity . I couldn't picture myself saying " would u stead with me " . Sad to say , those words would be my downfall . Therefore , to suit my preference , I adopted the stategy of asking Torrence out b4 i would asked her to be my girl friend . Now all I had to do , was to actually say out these thoughts in my mind , And what a daunting feat that would be .

The next day , during maths lesson , as Miss Sheryl was on sick leave , the whole class had a free period . What a great stroke of luck .Heaven's grace was shinning in my favour . Seeing that the coast was clear , and no one would hear of my proclaimation , I turned to Torrence . " Err Torrence I er , I . . ." . " Hey Torrence want to go play murderer ? " , asked Jacie . Jacie was Torrence best friend . Torrence , Jacie and Kathleen were inseperable . " Ok " replied Torrence .
She the turned over to me and said , " You wanted to tell me something ?" . " Nah its nothing . "i replied sheepishly . I thought to myself , what a great moment to confess , and Jacie just had to ruin it . Despite my first failure ,i would not yield . The next period was Geography . Due to Miss Goh's strict appearance , the whole class fell silent . Thinking now would be the a great chance to excecute my plan , I forgot about Miss Goh's hawkeyes . As I turned to Torrence nervously saying " Torrence there is something I like you to know , I ..... " . " Samuel Chan stand up and stop talking " growled Miss Goh . Another chance wasted . By now the repeated taste of failure was slowly chipping my determination away .

After Geography it was English . I knew I had to stop beating around the bush and tell Torrence how I felt . After greeting the Miss Pauline , I immediately turned to Torrence , with my heart throbbing nervously and the sensation of butterflies-in-my-tummy coursing through my body , " Torrence i really like you , will you please go out with me ? " i stammered . All of a sudden , I could hear a loud ringing sound , the sound did not go away , it was getting louder and clearer . then I heard a moan , " Samuel its time to wake up for sch ! "

End of part 5 .

x penned @ 11:56 AM

Part 6 : Mental bickerment

Last night's dream kept me preoccupied that school day . Lesson after lesson breezed past . Even Torrence's conversations could entice me away from my intense pondering .
Was last night's dream foretelling the future ? Would my path to confession be littered with numerous obstacles ? It did not worry me much . The pressing thought at the back of my head was , could my dream be a minute yet clear signal from my subconscious , how badly i wanted to confess to Torrence , confess how muhc i adorned her , how muhc i wanted to be with her ? Was i so blinded by her presence in class , so engrossed in thinking about her away from school to notice that i liked her that deeply , to consider making her my emotional respondsibility . It had to be . I liked her , and i wanted her to know .

End of part 6

x penned @ 11:55 AM

Part 7 : The confession ( Part 2 )

Thursday was the longest day of the week , While lessons on others days ended at 1pm , Thursdays dragged on till 2.30pm , leaving me worn out by the end of the day . Reflecting on the obstacles in my dream , having a longer duration in school would higher the chance that my plan would be successful . At the half an hour interval during Math's lesson , I turned to Torrence , palms sweaty and legs trembling , mustering sufficient strenght and said , " I had a peculiar dream the night before , and it left me brooding over it , contemplating why i had that dream . ". " No wonder you were like an empty shell yesterday . You didn't repond when I talked to you . ", snapped Torrence . " To make up for it , why don't you share your dream with me ? " , she suggested . It then occured to me that a priceless opportunity had revealed itself . " Why not ? " , I replied with a grin in my heart .

" In the dream , I was trying to confess to a girl , someone who I adored greatly . But everytime I get to the point of confessing , an obstacle would present itself . " , I said . " How sad , but did u ever get to telling her ? " , asked Torrence . " Nope , but i am hoping to do it now . ", I replied . I was now looking straight at her , feeling as nervous and insecure in my dream , with my heartbeat now thundering in my chest , which was hot and stuffy by now , I muttered " Torrence i really like you , will you go out with me ? " . Immediately , I felt like a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders . My heart and mind was synchronised in jubilation ."No" , replied Torrence . I snapped back to reality , realising I had been rejected . " I'm sorry Samuel , can we remain as friends ? " , said Torrence . I could clearly hear the crumbling sounds of my heart . It was not an answer I had expected , in fact I had only thought of confessing , never did I bring rejection into the picture . " Er .... okay friends are fine . " , I said with a look of grimace on my face . But i was not going to give up this easily .

End of part 7

x penned @ 11:54 AM

Part 8 : The Wooing

Since that faithful day of my confession , I asked Torrence out at every possible chance . Her constant replies of "no" and "dunno" took centre stage . How i hated the word " dunno" . It is the worst possible answer that anyone could recieve . For 3 months , i kept popping the question , till it became second nature to me . But repeatitive disappointment had adverse effects on me . My heart could not stand the ups and downs . Everytime i asked that question , i drew hope from the fact thought that maybe this time she might say yes , and every single time , i was bitterly disappointed . Some time through the month of May , Torrence came down with chicken pox , and she was recuperating at home for 2 weeks. The sit beside me was now uneasily vacant . " absence makes the heart grow fonder ", how true that saying was . I missed Torrence badly . I had intense urges to pay her a vist . But silly me , i did not procure her address . You might be wondering , i could have easily obtained her address from Jacie or Kathleen . But being shy and reserved , to afriad and embarassed to let anyone know of my attraction towards Kathleen , I resisted that idea . It was also in these 2 weeks , that repulsive events took place .

End of part 8

x penned @ 11:53 AM

Part 9 : The horrendous Mrs Abdulahziz(A)

The sit beside me was empty . Torrence was down with chicken pox . 1 fine day , during english lesson , something shocking happened to me , something that almost made me start to question whether seeing is believing . I was looking straight at Mrs A , and for god knows what reason she gave a sudden shriek , " Samuel you stupid fool stop talking and stand up ! " . It sounded totally like a squealling pig , and the Mrs A 's similarities did not onli stop at her sound :D With her high pitched scream still ringing in my ears , I protested , " Teacher i wasn't even talking , I don't even have anyone beside me to talk to ! " , desperately trying to divert her snobbish face to Torrence's vacant sit . Was she able to see something in that sit that the class could not , i grew worried . But she would hear nothing of it . The next day another series of unfortunate events happened , this time however it was even more ridiculous and preposterous . I was sent out for sleeping in class . the amazing thing was , I was caught "sleeping" with my eyes wide open , eyes wide open looking at Mrs A . Is that even humanly possible ? I knew for sure I didn't have any fish genes in me . Total unreasonability . Then it struck me and i wondered if pigs are unreasonable too ?

End of part 9

x penned @ 11:52 AM

Part 10 : The last words

After 2 weeks , my torture finally came to a halt . Torrence returned to school with bubbles all over her body , but hey , when u are in love , you will over look such superfacial things . Despite being apart for 2 weeks , the levek of closeness we had was still there . And nonetheless , i continued the chore of asking her out , daily .

Soon the mid-year exams had arrived , and my plans in love were put on hold , until the exams were over . She proved to be too big a distraction for my own good . And so my mugging begin .

While i was studying for my exams , I started thinking whether i should give up . Afterall so far i have nothing but a bag full of "dunno"s and "no"s to show for while going after Torrence . Sadly my strong determination at the start of the campaign had slowly wavered down to almost nil . Maybe it was time to give up ............

1 MONTH LATER !!!

With the exams finally gone , and after countless hours of serious consideration , amidst the post exam activities in class , I turned to Torrence and asked ,"Torrence I really really like you , but I really can't stand it anymore so this is my last time asking , so this will be my last time asking , will you go out with me ? "
She looked to me , speechless . The silence was killing me , every second made me feel nervous , excited , hopeful ....... " I dunno " replied Torrence . I wonder as she said those words whether she could hear the sounds of my heart crashing to the ground . And with that line said , i spent the june holidays trying to forget the first gal I had liked in Spirit High . Trying to nurse back my heart bit by bit .

End of part 10 .

x penned @ 11:51 AM

Part 11 : A new chapter

Nearly 1 year had passed since i had stopped liking Torrence . After the june holidays , we got shifted and did not sit beside each other anymore . Flow of fate perhaps . In this 1 year , many changes had taken place . I was wearing braces now . I had hoped for this ever since i began my dental treatment when i was 17 . I was on my way to a nicer smile and straighter teeth .
This past year also saw alot of changes in the company i kept , the friends i mixed with . I had a new best pal , and his name was Rayner , Rayner Cheng . How we 2 became close pals still remains a mystery to me .

I remembered the first time i spoke to Rayner in class soon escalated into a small arguement . I have forgotten the reason for that small conflict , but i knew i didn't talk to him much since that incident , till the following year . I had decided to leave my current group of friends . They were more interested in playing and piercing earholes then studying . Always staying out late and in bad company , i knew it would do me no good if i stayed on . Sure i would be in the cool group , but at an extravagent price . That was how i left my primary sch group of friends in Spirit High . At first i was lonely . Often eating alone during recess . But then i noticed how lonely Rayner was , or maybe he noticed how lonely i was , whichever the case , we started hanging out together . Maybe the biggest reason why we clicked was because of basketball - bb . Rayner was an ace sharpshooter , his jump shots were always leaving onlookers in awe , and opponent in tears and he shot in goal after goal after goal . We played bb after school almost everyday .

Even thou we hung out , Rayner and i didn't share much personal stuff , or rather he didn't . As a result , i thot maybe i wasn't as close as Rayner as i thought i was . Then 1 fine day , during a free period , as we were playing checkers , Rayner suddenly told me his mother was critically ill .
it was then did i realise we were close alright .

Soon we 2 were inseperable , often going everywhere together . And the strange thing was , Chuannie , Xiao Hei and many of my old group of friends tried coming close and being part of the group that me and Rayner had created . But we 2 didn't really like their kind of lifestyle , and so we left , and each time we did , it was only a matter of time before they came back .

Rayner and I are still good friends till this day .

End of part 11

x penned @ 11:50 AM

Part 12 : Dejavu

Short glimpses of Torrence in class did stir some feelings in me , it did not suffice to set me down that path once more .She was different now , shaped by the company she kept , but her beauty was everlasting .

1 afternoon , as Rayner and I were enjoying our lunch , Xiao Hei sprang out of no where and asked me , " hey did you like Torrence last year ? Oh my god ! If you had told me , I could have helped , or not hahaha ." this was not the first time Xiao Hei was poking fun at me , and his words went by deaf ears . After that childish and utterly meaningless conversasion Rayner suddenly asked . " Hey Sam , lets say if Torrence had a change of heart , would you like her once again ? " .

" No! " came my prompt answer as i walked away to return my plate . A slight sensation of irritation was slowly creeping into me .I 've out that question to myself many times before , and i never had the courage to make a choice .

The following day , I was slacking at Xiao Teng's house . He was my badminton team mate and my classmate . At the climax of our discussion about girls , he suddenly enquired , " Hey Sam , did you know Torrence likes you ? " Was he teasing me too , " Sure she does . sure she does ." I replied with a tone of esperation . " You at the clues man , she's always the 1st to laugh at your the jokes you make in class and she looks at you all the time ! " said Xiao Teng in his defence . " Man how do notice such things , first to laugh , you stalking her eh ? " I joked . A storm was brewing in my heart .

The days passed like water droplets from a tap , with the building curiosity in me almost erupting , I smsed Jacie , " Does Torrence like mi ? " 3 long hours later , the screen on my cell phone read " took you long enough dummy ! " Sweet mother moses , holy shit , oh my god , pipa nige long ding dong ! I couldn't believe it , but i was not wholly convinced yet , i had to hear it from the Lion's mouth .

That night , the first sms sent was " what homework do we have ? " the last sms i received was read " Er .... Yes i do like you :P "

End of part 12

x penned @ 11:49 AM